Finding Out THE BIG NEWS - I'm Pregnant!

I'd always imagined finding out I was pregnant would be a magical moment and it would include confetti canons, tears of joy and just pure excitement but I'm going to be brutally honest on this blog, no sugar coating! I was in fact instantly full of shock and fear and lots of confused tears. I quickly learned the thought of having a little you running around was a lot sweeter than the reality of having the responsibility to protect the human growing inside of you with your life and it scared the sh*t out of me but it gets better, I promise!

Finding out I was pregnant was definitely a shocking surprise, it wasn't a planned pregnancy (sorry baby!) but I've always been a big believer in "everything happens for a reason" and one thing I've always wanted to be in life is a mother that was for sure,I was just gifted a little earlier than expected!

I guess I should start telling this story right from the beginning which started with me experiencing the WORST period pains I'd ever experienced and I was 100% convinced any day or hour an explosion was going to come out of me, that might be a little too much information but seriously I was so bad I was scared to sit on my mums new sofa without a blanket underneath me, after a few days of the excruciating "period pains" I confided in my mum and sister who suggested I go and get a pregnancy test, which I agreed to do but I was convinced being pregnant wouldn't be the reason for the pains, in my eyes period pains stopped when you were pregnant so I put it to the back of my mind.

That was up until I woke up after having a dream I was pregnant one morning and knew it was time to put my mind at ease and to cross possibilities off the list for the pains I was experiencing and also I was a few days late on my period but like I said, it felt like it was going to come any minute! So after breakfast, I sent my partner to the shop to grab me a pregnancy test. Although I wasn't convinced the test would come back positive it's was still the most nerve-wracking 15 minutes before I grew the balls to just go and do it.

After sitting on the toilet shaking like a leaf for what felt like an eternity waiting for the lines to develop it was time to check and to my amazement I forgot how to read when I picked up the test and looked at it, I knew plus meant I was pregnant which the pregnancy test was showing and I knew one line meant not pregnant but my brain just couldn't figure it out! I'd say now it was the shock of knowing but not wanting to. During this time my partner was fully aware of what was going on in the bathroom but I believe he thought I was just being dramatic so he didn't think sitting in the bathroom with me was needed, until I peeped my head around the door smiling like a Cheshire cat (things nerves makes you do because smiling did not describe how I was feeling inside) and showed him the test, and I can honestly say I have no idea what he was thinking or feeling because he didn't show ANYTHING (where do men get the gift of hiding how they feel so easily?!) I spent the rest of the day in shock and in denial, I think my partner did too we just couldn't get our heads around it.

The Day After

After establishing I was 100% pregnant, I say 100% pregnant but I was just going by what the test had told me it was time to have the chat, the chat I didn't think I'd ever had to have with anyone because all the envisions of finding out I was pregnant didn't include second guessing because envisions aren't real and it's not reality and you haven't got someone's life in your hands. 

Me and my partner decided to get in the car and head to the beach in the town we were due to move to in a matter of weeks, it was the beginning of February and it was freeezzzing but I was so scared and in shock I was numb, I could've been in the Antarctic and I would have been oblivious. After talking for hours, going back and forth, weighing up the pro and cons which sounds terrible because this wasn't deciding where we were going on holiday but we wanted to make sure what we decided was the best decision for all of us and so, of course, we decided that two would become three and it was the scariest decision I'd ever have to make, I'm sure it was my partners too but once it was decided, It felt right and I felt silly for even contemplating about something I've always wanted in the first place.

During the drive home I was balling like a baby, I don't quite know what kind of tears they were but I think it was more a relief than anything. I decided that we should stop at a shop to get another pregnancy test, just to make sure (I think I was still in denial) but when the plus sign reappeared on the test my head was a lot clearer that time and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face! Me being me can't keep a secret so I decided that night we were going to tell all our nearest and dearest and that we did and lucky for us they were delighted, maybe even more delighted than us.

That's definitely a weekend I will never forget!

I do regret telling everyone so soon about my pregnancy, but I'm going to leave that for another post, because there's so many reasons why we should have waited but you learn from your mistakes.

See you soon 


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